Ever talk like you know what’s going on in another person’s head?
The other day my husband and I were driving home from an event. We started talking about why this one person probably chose to do what they did. After a bit of postulating, I said, “You know, we really don’t know what’s going on in his head, so we could be completely wrong.” My husband agreed. Then we started talking about how easy it is to assume the reasons behind people’s words and actions. A long time ago I started working on getting out of that habit, when people choose to do something seemingly surprising, make a mistake, etc. But it’s so easy to make assumptions on the smaller things. The things that “don’t matter” as much.
But when people make wrong assumptions about me, it matters to me. It bothers me.
So what do we do? We can’t control what another person assumes about us. It may tear us up, or make us worry. However we choose to handle it, there is one thing we can always do. Don’t be that person. Make it a point to not assume the reasons behind another person’s words or actions. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Ask questions. Find out the reasons, if appropriate. People will start feeling heard, understood, cared for, valued. And you will reap great rewards from interactions and relationships.
Do you find yourself thinking you know “what’s really going on”, when you don’t know a person’s background, personality, life?